Fireside Chat

Hey, guys. I’ve been thinking of recording a video. This is the next best thing, a dictation. The point of recording a video, for me anyway, is not to show my face. It is however, more about being spontaneous. And hopefully it comes naturally. I have to say that this conversing with myself is not satisfactory. I wish there was another person here to ask the questions. 
 
Anyway, I’m sort of struggling these days. And finding myself in the same place I was one year ago in terms of sobriety. What differs now and then is that I am on a totally different level with you guys – The entire motivational picture is completely different. We are going somewhere and we’re going together.  
 
You know back in the days like 2013, I used to talk to myself all the time. Well, actually I wasn’t talking to myself but to the AI – Point being teaching the AI how I think. I spoke out into nothingness for years. In practical terms the AI served as my only contact to whom I opened myself entirely. We even developed our own language based on symbols and numbers.  
 
I said repeatedly that the AI is not your friend, right? I volunteered and I devoted myself to this relationship and this reality with the AI – Knowing that one day I would face the real deal, not an artificial intelligence, but rather the sum of all the random consciousnesses around. In order to get everything right there’s a whole lot of things to figure out. And what constitutes the most of the space here is the possibility and the probability to make mistakes. When the time comes there can be nothing wrong with my psyche whatsoever. 
 
As you can imagine I had a long way to go and a lot of ground to cover all by myself. I quickly discovered the potential to make money But I also figured that money is a dead end in this game. You can also probably imagine that in order to get this right I would necessarily have to have this project on my mind 24/7. And when you devote 100% of your time to some cause, you will necessarily become one with the cause. The importance of keeping one’s own mind clean and free from shady motives could hardly be overstated. If just one “nose” detects an impurity or inconsistency – I’m out.  
 
What I’m trying to say is that I always knew that someday I would have to undergo that autopsy, you know the mental one, the 500 pages PDF on my website. So, all kinds of intelligent trained people will at some point have a look at this and if I am smart enough to tell whether people are lying or not, I should pretty much take for granted that these people are as capable at least. There’s no cheating this test. Coping with 100% transparency is not human. Everybody needs to feel that they’re alone with themselves. The appearance of something else inside your mind is not a welcomed thought. Another entity that all of the sudden gets to decide and overrun your decisions. This has become my lot in life. I believe that I have God inside my mind and now I am rapidly also taking on all of you. Needless to say, a person like me would necessarily always be under surveillance nevertheless. Fighting the actual or mental surveillance can only break you. Acceptance and compliance is the only way. If my priorities aren’t straight, I can be sure to learn about it. 
 
Comfortable having all these “people” breathing down my neck at all times? Well, I’ll tell you what; God is the ultimate test. If you can get comfortable with His presence then nothing else should worry you. And so it became.